What This Actually Costs

For anyone about to talk to an attorney, or already getting the bills

The retainer isn’t the price. Here’s what is.

A plain-language guide to what a divorce actually costs, line by line, so you can ask the right money questions before you sign a fee agreement, not after the first bill.

Most people carry one number in their head. It’s large, it’s vague, and it comes with an assumption nobody examines: that it’s due at the start, in one piece.

Then the first invoice arrives, and it’s full of things nobody mentioned. Service of process. Copies. A two-minute email.

Hours are the cost. This guide shows you what adds them.

A few things inside

  • The billing increment. The smallest unit of time that gets billed. If it’s fifteen minutes, a two-minute email can be billed as fifteen. Ask what it is, and whether it applies to emails and short calls.
  • The full cost inventory. Every line item that can appear on the bill, including the small ones, like copies and certified mail, that add up faster than you’d expect.
  • Eight paths people actually use to pay, from full representation to limited scope, mediation, legal aid and legal plans, and who each one fits.
  • Reading the fee agreement. What to check before you sign, and the part most people wish someone had handed them.
  • The Money Consult. The questions to ask, in order, with a scoring sheet for comparing firms.

What you get

What This Actually Costs (PDF + editable Word)55 pages in eleven parts: the belief that stops people, the vocabulary, the full cost inventory, the paths, the fee agreement, advocating for yourself on a bill, what drives the bill, and the honest numbers.
Five worksheetsYour monthly numbers, your total to begin (filing fee, service, parenting class, consultations), your situation at a glance, and the questions to bring. Fill them in before your first consult.

55 pages · PDF + editable Word · Instant download · $17

This may fit if

  • You haven’t started because you can’t picture how anyone pays for this
  • You have a consultation coming up and want to walk in knowing what to ask about money
  • You’ve hired someone and the bills aren’t making sense

What this is not: legal or financial advice, a quote for your case, a prediction of what your matter will cost, or a statement of what you qualify for.

What This Actually Costs is an educational resource, a starting point to bring to a licensed attorney. Created by a parent who navigated the family court system, sold by ValuED Sales LLC dba May Divorce Be With You.

⚠ Read before purchase

This is an educational publication, not legal or financial advice. The author is not an attorney or a financial advisor. Purchase does not create an attorney-client relationship, and no information shared with the seller is protected by attorney-client privilege. Cost figures are published national ranges, not a quote for your case. Filing fees, fee waivers, program eligibility and fee rules vary by state and county; confirm everything with the court, the program or a licensed attorney in your state.

Do not use this product as your starting point if any of the following applies: domestic violence; active protective order; substance abuse affecting parenting; CPS or DCFS involvement; abuse allegations, substantiated or not; active mental health crisis; international parental abduction risk; significant special needs; complex finances or hidden-asset concerns; or active parental alienation. In any of those situations, go directly to a licensed family law attorney.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (text START to 88788), 24/7, free, confidential. If someone controls your access to money, that call comes first. In immediate danger: 911, always.

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What This Actually Costs
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Yes, add the High-Conflict Consult Playbook for $19
Not sure this will stay simple? Vet the attorney first.The questions to ask in a consult before you pay a retainer: how they handle conflict, who actually works your file, and how billing really runs. Instant download, sent with your cost guide.
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Reviewed and updated October 2026. By completing purchase, you confirm you have read and agree to the Read Before Purchase scope statement above.

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