Free guide · Haven’t filed yet?
Before you say the word out loud, there’s a window. Most people don’t know it’s open.
The Pre-Filing Quick Start: what to gather, document and think through while you still have time.
Get the Quick StartYou may already know something the people around you don’t. You’ve been turning it over for months, maybe years. You’ve rehearsed the conversation in the car. And you still have no idea what you’re supposed to do first, or what you’ll wish you had done once it’s too late to do it.
The parents I’ve sat with describe the same moment: the day the word was said, the preparation window closed. Whatever hadn’t been gathered, photographed or set up by then got done under pressure, or not at all.
This is the short version of what they wish someone had handed them first.
From “If you do nothing else this week”
Tax returns, last three years.
Every page and schedule. The hardest thing to get later if your spouse has the only copies.
A walk-through video of every room.
Closets and drawers open, timestamped by your phone. The one most people skip.
Your IRS tax transcripts.
Free, straight from the IRS, and you can request them yourself.
What’s inside
- Four patterns to notice now, before anything is said.
- The 90-day sequence: what comes first, what comes last, and why the order matters as much as the work.
- Building a record from day one, including the communication platform most people wish they had set up sooner.
- If you do nothing else this week: the five photographs, and two free records you can request yourself.
- The patterns to avoid, from parents who would do it differently.
What this is not: legal advice, a checklist for your case, or a substitute for an attorney. It’s a starting point to bring to one.
⚠ Read this first
Some of the preparation in this guide can increase danger in a relationship that is already dangerous. If any of these describe you, this is not the right starting point: you are afraid of what your spouse will do if they find out you are planning to leave; there has been physical violence or a threat of it; there have been threats to take or harm the children, or you; your spouse monitors your phone, location, accounts, conversations or time; or there is a current or recent protective order in either direction. Start with a domestic violence advocate, who can help you sequence things safely, and a licensed attorney.
If someone you share a home or devices with can see your email, use an address only you can access.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (text START to 88788), 24/7, free, confidential. In immediate danger: 911, always.
Where should I send it?
If someone else can see your email or phone, use an address only you can open.
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The Pre-Filing Quick Start is a free educational publication, not legal advice. The author is not an attorney. Reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship, and nothing you share is protected by attorney-client privilege. An attorney licensed in your state must advise you on what actually applies. © 2024–2026 ValuED Sales LLC dba May Divorce Be With You