Free guide · Still figuring out custody?

“Joint,” “sole,” “50/50.” You’ve read all three twice. Which one is actually yours?

Which Parenting Plan Fits: the three custody structures side by side, in plain language, and the questions behind them.

10 pages · Free PDF · Not legal advice · Written by a parent, not a lawyer

You’re three tabs deep and none of it tells you which one fits your family. You keep reading the same paragraph about custody and it keeps not answering the question.

And the part nobody mentions: each structure comes with a common assumption that quietly costs people later.

Three assumptions the guide walks through

Joint 50/50: “Equal time means $0 support.”
In many states the math still runs on the gap between incomes.

Split: “$0 child support is automatic.”
Not necessarily, even when each parent is primary for one child.

Sole: “The primary parent makes all the decisions.”
In the plans I’ve read, major decisions usually stay joint.

Your attorney tells you how your state handles each one. This guide makes sure you know to ask.

What's inside

Including the things most people don't think to ask about until later:

A plain-language map of the three custody structures and how they actually differ.
The questions parents tend to work through to see where they fit.
The misconception attached to each structure, the one that quietly costs people later.
The Defined-Outcome Test, something you can run tonight on your own draft, the other side's draft, or a decree that's already signed.
A read-this-first safety section, and where to go when these templates aren't the right starting point.

You don't have to be sure which plan is yours to read this. Most people who download it describe themselves as “still figuring it out.”

This may fit your situation if

You're trying to figure out which custody arrangement fits before you talk to an attorney
You've seen “joint,” “sole,” and “50/50” thrown around and aren't sure which describes your family
You want to walk into a consult already knowing the right questions to ask

What this is not: Legal advice. A recommendation about your case. A substitute for an attorney licensed in your state. A prediction of any outcome.

⚠ Read first

This is an educational publication, not legal advice. The author is not an attorney. Downloading or reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship, and nothing you share is protected by attorney-client privilege. It was written with reference to Utah law and will not match other states' law without modification. An attorney licensed in your state must advise you on what actually applies.

Do not use this product as your starting point if any of the following applies to your case: domestic violence; active protective order; substance abuse affecting parenting; CPS or DCFS involvement; abuse allegations (substantiated or not); active mental health crisis; international parental abduction risk; significant special needs; complex finances or hidden-asset concerns; or active parental alienation. In any of those situations, go directly to a licensed family law attorney.

This may not be the right starting point right now if any of these describe you: you're afraid of what the other parent will do if they learn you're preparing; there has been physical violence or a threat of it; there have been threats to take or harm the children, or you; the other parent monitors your phone, location, accounts, or movements; there's a current or recent protective order in either direction; or there's active substance abuse, severe untreated mental illness, or suicidal ideation in the home. Some of the preparation described here can increase danger in a relationship that's already dangerous. If even one applies, work with someone trained in safety planning first. A domestic violence advocate can help sequence things for your situation.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (text START to 88788), 24/7, free, confidential. In immediate danger: 911, always.

Get the free guide

Tell me which structure you're looking at, and I'll send the guide plus the next step that fits it.

First Name

Email *

Which structure are you looking at right now? *

Sole custody

Joint 50/50

Split custody

Not sure yet, still comparing

If someone else can see your email or phone, use an address only you can open.

Free download. Your email is used to deliver the guide and for occasional related updates. Unsubscribe anytime. Share it freely in its complete, unmodified form. By downloading, you confirm you have read and agree to the scope statement above.