Black Friday · founding enrollment

Divorce doesn’t wait for the holidays. Clarity shouldn’t either.

A private place to figure out where you are, organize what you have, and know the next useful step, so you can keep showing up for work, for your kids, and for the rest of December.

$297 or 3 payments of $99 · Founding price through December 31 · $397 from January 1

Start for $297 See what’s inside →

The binder the moment you enroll · every video lesson up by November 27 · at least 12 months of access

Start Where You Are binder pages on a laptop, tablet and phone

Why this opens on Black Friday

The holidays don’t pause a case.

Black Friday is the day people finally buy the thing they’ve been putting off. For some people that’s a TV. For some it’s a folder for the papers they haven’t opened yet.

The deadline on the petition, the email from HR, and the question you keep meaning to ask an attorney will still be there on Monday. Everyone else’s calendar fills with parties. Yours has a hearing on it.

And if you’re not the one in it, you may know who is: the sister who stopped answering texts, the coworker who’s been quiet at lunch. This is a quiet thing to hand them. They choose the email, and you never see what they write. Give it as a gift →

You still have to show up

And you still have to go to work.

A process server asks for you at the front desk, and you sign while your coworkers pretend not to look.
You take a vacation day for mediation and tell your team it’s a dentist appointment.
You pull bank statements on your lunch break, in your car, so nobody sees the screen.
Open enrollment asks whose name goes on the insurance, and you don’t know yet.
At 2 p.m. you answer a client like nothing happened at 9.
Then it’s pickup, dinner, homework, and the pile again at 10 p.m.

Nobody hands you a plan for this part. Start Where You Are gives you one place to keep the papers, the dates and the questions, so the workday and the case stop living in the same twenty tabs. One section is just for work: what work knows, what it doesn’t, and a plan for the next quarter.

Buying for someone you love? Give it as a gift →

What this is for

It’s a lot to hold in your head while you keep everything else running.

Papers on the counter that you read after the kids are asleep.

A bank statement in one email, a pay stub in another, the insurance card in a wallet that isn’t yours.
An appointment on Thursday, and a list of questions you meant to write down.
Two hours off work you haven’t figured out how to ask for.

Start Where You Are puts it on paper, one page at a time, so you can see where things stand, gather what you already have access to, and walk into your next conversation with an attorney, a mediator or HR with your questions ranked.

So you can know where you are, know what you have, and know what to ask, before someone asks you to decide.

1.87 millionpeople in the U.S. divorced in the past year.

44% and 57%of people going through a divorce said it hurt their work, in two samples from a 2023 study.

Sources: U.S. Census Bureau, American Community Survey 2024, via NCFMR, Bowling Green State University (counts people, not divorces). Wanberg, Csillag & Duffy, Personnel Psychology, 2023 (self-reported).

Why I built this

I went through a high-conflict divorce while I was teaching fifth grade.

Some months I could barely afford to feed my kids. I didn’t tell anyone at work. I took calls in my car at lunch, then walked back in and taught PEMDAS.

Nobody handed me a place to start, so I built the thing I needed: one place for where things stood, what I had, and what to ask next.

If someone had sent me this, I would have cried.

— Shelly Ruff. Former fifth-grade teacher. Not an attorney.

What’s inside the program

Short lessons and a working binder, in eleven sections.

Each section is a few pages you fill in. Each lesson walks through those pages on video. Skip what doesn’t fit you.

Where I am

Not where you should be. Where you actually are.You leave with: Today on one page, and a dated list for the next thirty days.

What is ahead

It is a sequence, not a wall.You leave with: Your phase marked, and the checklist of what your final order has to cover.

My documents

Organize what you already have access to.You leave with: Every document you have, with where it lives written next to it.

My people

Who does what, and who each of them works for.You leave with: Everyone involved on one roster, with who each person works for.

My money picture

The cost you’re picturing can stop you long before the real one shows up.You leave with: Your side of the money on paper, and your cost questions ready.

My legal benefit

The questions to ask about something you may already be paying for.You leave with: Your plan’s answers in writing, or a clear next place to go if you don’t have one.

Work

The place you spend most of your week.You leave with: A dated decision about what work knows, and the next quarter on one page.

My timeline

A record you can point to, not just what you remember.You leave with: Each thing that matters with a date and a source.

My questions

The page you actually carry in with you.You leave with: Your questions ranked, with room for the answers.

My next ninety days

Dated, small, and owned by somebody.You leave with: A ninety-day plan, and a list of what is waiting on someone else.

Where to go from here

This binder ends. Your situation does not.You leave with: A one-page clarity summary, ready to hand to your attorney.

Plus twelve reference files you open only when they fit: the interim, time with the children, before you agree, relocation, high conflict, military families, no legal plan, and more.

Start for $297The binder today · lessons by Nov 27

Every question in your head gets a page

Where do I even start? Here.

The question in your head	Where it goes in Start Where You Are
Where do I even start?	Where I am: today on one page, and the next thirty days
Who keeps the house? Do I have to move? What will this cost?	My money picture: your side of the money on paper, and your cost questions ready
Where will the kids live?	The Time With the Children file and the parenting plan worksheet
Child support, insurance, beneficiaries	My questions, and Your benefits and your paperwork
Court dates and deadlines	What is ahead and My timeline
Mediator, custody evaluator, who works for whom?	My people: everyone on one roster, with who each person works for
Do I have help I’m already paying for?	My legal benefit: the questions to ask, and what to do with a no
What do I tell work?	Work: a dated decision about what work knows

What it does for you

One folder, three questions first, and the rest of the week back.

Here is what I want it to feel like when you close the binder. You walk into the appointment with one folder instead of a phone full of screenshots. You know which three questions come first. When someone asks for the bank statements, you know where they are. And the thing that has been running in the back of your head at 2 a.m. is written down, with a date next to it, so it can wait there.

Why it’s worth doing before the meeting

An attorney bills for the time whether it goes to your questions or to finding out where your documents are. If your attorney bills $400 an hour, every six minutes is $40. A first meeting that starts with “I’ll have to look that up” costs the same as one that starts with your ranked list.

Start Where You Are is $297, less than one hour of an attorney’s time. It doesn’t replace that hour. It helps you spend it on the questions only an attorney can answer.

Who’s behind it

3,400+people have downloaded one of my free guides

100K+followers across Instagram, TikTok and Facebook

1,400+people have bought one of my guides or templates

Start Where You Are is built from the questions parents and people at work kept asking me.

What people say about my other resources.

“I have a great lawyer but I want to be prepared, and I’ve enjoyed and aligned with your content.”
Jamyra S. · One Fell Swoop library

“You consistently have pointed out things I haven’t thought of. It’s lovely. Just wanted to say thank you from one Utah mom to another.”
Michelene · parenting plan templates

“Having a few examples has been worth every penny. Thanks for doing the work!”
Aaron V. · custody plan

“I purchased the 50/50 parenting plan and brought it to my lawyer. She went through it with me and we used a lot of it in our agreement. I would have been lost without it. Thank you for sharing what you learned.”
A parent · Joint 50/50 plan

These are about my guides and templates. Start Where You Are is new, so there are no reviews of it yet.

Shelly Ruff, smiling, in a blazer and glasses

I’m Shelly. I’m an educator and a mom of four, and I’m not an attorney.

How the launch works

Five dates. The binder is yours from the first one.

Today
Five starter pages and a filled-in example, free. Founding enrollment is open: the full binder today, $297 or 3 payments of $99.
Nov 27
Every video lesson is up. Live work sessions with me follow on Thursday December 3 and Thursday December 17.
Dec 10
Free workshop at noon MT. We fill in “What is true today” together.
Dec 13
Last day to enroll for the live work sessions, Thursday December 3 and Thursday December 17 at 6 pm MT. Replays included.
Dec 31
Founding price ends. $397 from January 1.

Not ready to enroll? Send me the starter pages →

Founding enrollment

Start tonight. The binder is yours the moment you enroll.

What you get today

The complete Start Where You Are binder: eleven sections and twelve reference files, as one printable PDF, plus each section as its own file.
Start Here: how the program works, and a router that points you to the section that fits this week.
The 30-minute Quick Start, with the first page you fill in.

The binder is complete today. The videos walk through pages you already have.

What arrives by November 27

The video lessons, posted as they’re finished. Every lesson is up by Thanksgiving.
An email each time a module goes up.

Also included

At least 12 months of course access. The files you download are yours to keep.
Enroll by December 13: two live work sessions with me, Thursday December 3 and Thursday December 17 at 6 pm MT. Replays included.
Live sessions in January for founding members.
Email help within two business days.
The free workshop on December 10 at noon MT.

Founding price · through December 31

$297

or 3 monthly payments of $99: $99 today, then $99 at 30 and 60 days, on the same card. Nothing after that. Regular price $397 from January 1.

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Start for $297

Have a member code from work or a perks program? Enter it at checkout. Member codes apply to the pay-in-full price.

This fits if

You haven’t told anyone at work yet.
Someone asked for documents, and they’re in six different places.
You have an appointment next week and nothing written down.
You don’t have kids, a legal plan, or an HR department. It still fits.

Questions

Do I need to have decided anything?

No. The first section is about where things stand today. Thinking about it, already filed, or years past a decree all count.

Is it private?

What you write stays on your paper or your own device. Nothing you fill in comes to us. Subject lines don’t say “divorce.”

I don’t have benefits through work.

Section Six is for people who have a legal plan. Everything else works without one, and one reference file is written for people with no legal plan.

Do I need kids, an attorney or an HR department?

No. If you don’t have kids, a legal plan, or an HR department, it still fits.

When do I get it?

The binder, Start Here and the 30-minute Quick Start the moment you enroll. The binder is complete today. Every video lesson is up by November 27.

How does the payment plan work?

$99 today, then $99 at 30 and 60 days, on the same card. Nothing after that. Member codes apply to the pay-in-full price.

Does it matter which state I’m in?

No. It isn’t about any state’s law. Questions about what your state requires go on your question list for an attorney licensed where you live.

Is this legal advice?

No. It’s education and preparation. It ends where a licensed professional begins, and it helps you get more out of that conversation.

Start Where You Are · founding enrollment

Start tonight. Walk in with your questions ranked.

All sales are final. The binder is delivered as soon as you enroll, so we don’t offer refunds. If you can’t get into the course or a file won’t open, email [email protected] and we’ll fix it.

⚠ Read before purchase

Educational material only. Not legal advice. The author is not an attorney. If safety is any part of your situation, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.

Your card statement reads VALUED SALES MDBWY. Our subject lines don’t say “divorce.”

You’re at checkout. Educational material, not legal advice. Read Before Purchase is just above.